For The First Time In Forever

On Friday, I picked up my prom dress from being hemmed. When I tried it on, I smiled from ear to ear. I haven't always felt that way in the clothes, that I wear. While trying my dress on, I realized that I have come a long way. When I was younger, I used to feel uncomfortable in all of my clothes, except for a pink pair of gaucho pants; ridiculous, I know. I went to therapy for it and everything, I have always had a love-hate-relationship with clothes. The first time I wore a pair of jeans to school, let alone a full day, was probably 9th grade. Now, jeans are my favorite thing to wear. It makes me so happy to have overcome my poor relationship with clothes. Whenever I go to clothing stores now, I adore trying clothes on and enjoy wearing them. I don't think I have really enjoyed putting together outfits until high school. 
I think the problem started in I was in elementary school when my teacher told my mom that I couldn't wear dresses to school every day, especially in the winter, even though I wore stockings with them. When I look back at older pictures, ones where I wore dresses, my smile was so much bigger. After that, I think I just stopped caring about what I wore, up to the point where it became unhealthy. Parents were worried, teachers were concerned, so the principal had a discussion with my mom that finished up with me proceeding to see a therapist. At first, I was just excited because that meant missing school sometimes, and getting Macdonalds when we finished. I didn't know that playing board games and talking about my day would help me with what I was going through. I didn't even know what I was going through. When my therapist asked why I wore the pink gauchos every day, I didn't know why. But, I think I do now.
It took about two months for me to get past that phase, but then it continued with me not being able to wear, what I thought, were constricting clothes, like socks and bras. It's a little TMI, I know. This took me until the end of 7th grade to feel fully comfortable with wearing them. My journey was a long and bumpy one, but I am proud that I don't have a problem with any piece of clothing anymore. For the first time in forever, I don't feel constricted by the clothes that I wear, I can express myself with clothes in a way that younger me probably would have thought was inconceivable, for that I am glad.
I'll keep you updated.
-Michelle

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Hobby or Obsession

Spoiler Warning! Right now, I am reading this book called  The Hand on The Wal l by Maureen Johnson. This is the third book in the Truly Devious series, I read anything by this author, she is my favorite. As I was reading the novel, and throughout the series in general, the main character Stevie is accepted into this private school for gifted children called Ellingham Academy because her hobby is solving crimes. She just so happens to be obsessed with the Ellingham Murder Case, as you read further into her story, you see how increasingly consumed she is by these murders, and the deaths happening around her as well. There are riddles and mysteries galore, and Stevie somewhat dissociates from her friends to try and solve these cases.  In this book, Stevie has solved the Ellingham case. Now she is trying to solve the case of her friends Ellie and Hayes. Hayes suffered from CO2 poisoning by dry ice, Ellie was suffocated in the walls of the Ellingham estate, and Stevie's mentor Dr. F
Read more

Band Together

Lately I have been thinking of the process of creating a band. I have been singing my entire life, much to my parents dismay. I am passionate about music. More passionate than someone who has never trained a day in their life should be. A day without music is like a day without food. It helps me relax after a stressful day and express my emotions without speaking words myself. The other day I told my dad that I was contemplating creating a band in college. He told me that he had also wanted to be in a band in high school. My dad is one of the people who shaped my love for music. He taught me Johnny Cash, Bruce Springsteen, Elvis Presley, Queen, AC/DC, etc. We’d listen to music together loud enough to burst our eardrums over a long period of time. It became my religion. I practiced listening to music everyday. So many people start bands for fun and succeed, so why can’t I.  It may be a crazy idea that I haven’t fully thought out. But it’s an idea I want to
Read more

Labels Are Lible

I've been reading a lot about labels lately. Unintentionally, like for school, and a book that I was interested in at the library. They both talked a lot about names people place on others, as a stereotype. For my sociology class, we had to read "Teenage Wasteland" by Donna Gaines. In this article, it showed 4 teenagers who committed suicide because they felt that life wasn't a game they could win. They were the "burnouts" of their school, misunderstood, even after their deaths their town blamed it on the label, they were "burnouts" it was bound to happen. Gaines discusses how social structure is bound by labels, schools track students by ability. Cliques form based on subcultures and interests like nerds, athletes, gamers, etc. The "burnouts" are grouped together, leaving them stranded in the so-called teenage wasteland. If people start to feel lost in a label, unable to rise from their forced reputations, it leaves them helpless.  Fo
Read more